I was a bit surprised to realize that I'm turning 29 this year. Honestly, the number of my age has been on my mind since the beginning of 2024. It seems like, Am I mature enough to get this number? And of course, there are a lot of things that scream loudly in my mind. Those things are actually my pile of worries from the last few months of 2023, like:
- I've been greedy, craving a lot of things while I lack energy.
- I have to set back several things instead of repeating the failure.
- Then, I just have to do things that I can afford without worrying about unrealistic things.
I know those kinds of thoughts shouldn't be right or wrong, and I have to be honest to say that I felt a bit of relief at the time I said, "Let's stop here!". I decided to give up on several things back then.
Few days ago, I read a book at the coffee shop, and the book coincidentally made me feel like God didn't want to see me give up easily. I really take a deep breath and freeze for a while to deeply think about it. The first 80 pages of that book changed my perspective from "It's ok to give up" to "Let's forget about the goal, but focus on the process instead." I think everyone who's read that book can guess the title of the book I read.
Yapp... Atomic Habit
The first chapter of this book made me realize that I may have focused too much on the goals so far, and it pushed me to meet the goals as fast as possible. I never thought that rather than rush with the goals, I better make the pattern at least to fix my daily (and it of course still affects the possibility of meeting the goals). But the main point is that even if I meet the worst thing in the future, I at least already have my own pattern, habit, and identity as the person that I want to be.
I don't have to see how hard the thing should be if I choose to stay. I just need to make things simple for myself so I can do it as part of my daily routine without any burden feelings. Changing the smallest thing in my daily life might affect the long-term result. Since I just read the first chapter of Atomic Habit, I still can't describe or give a further review of the book.
But, indeed, the way a book can simply change my mind is one of the best feelings ever. The more I read new books, the more I can see a lot of things from different perspectives. But, of course, not every book fits me as well. If you ever heard about "every book will meet the exact readers," Yappp, I totally agree! I feel it along my reading journey. I can even stop reading a book after a chapter when I can't feel the vibes of that book, while other people might read it until the last page.
However, I want to experience a lot of new things (in a positive way) during my last twenties. I feel like I would romanticize my life more, maximalize my potential, and courage myself to learn even more. I hope whatever happens next won't leave me regret about anything even a bit.