Isn't it too early to review my 30s since it's just been running for 2 months? hahaha I think so, but I feel few things got deeper and harder lately. No no no... instead of acting like a know-it-all, I just want to share what I feel, and maybe you also would like to let me know whether you feel the same or vice versa as mine after reading this blog.
Honestly, I still can't believe that I'm hitting this number. A bit clueless, of course, since I still want to enjoy my life without any serious burden. But somehow,
I realize that I might face a lot of responsibility, and it seems like every single thing at this age will affect my future.
Like, daily habits, feelings, self-awareness, decisions that I made, etc. I'm sure everyone knows it, but I personally just thought deeper about it recently. Oh, before that, let's put the "daily habit" aside first, because I still have no idea how to reduce my addiction to caffeine and fix my sleep cycle, which I know will affect my future health in a bad way. Sadly, I still can't find a way to solve this.
Ok, back to the main topic about things that I feel in my early 30s. I actually feel and learn many things personally, but these 4 things are the top tiers:
1. Have no energy to face drama
I used to be a person who was strict to self but kind to others. Forgiving others doesn't feel as hard as forgiving myself, even if it's about a non-crucial thing, like I forgot to bring something. But as time goes by, I feel like I have an urge to set the boundaries because dealing with a lot of nonsense really drained my energy. And, wowwww... Setting boundaries apparently diverts my energy to focus only on the things that deserve it. I also have no energy to hate others, so if I meet someone doing things that make me uncomfortable, just "oh, okaaaay" is enough for me as long as we are not close enough to talk about it seriously. I also don't want to try to push people who don't match my energy. It's easier to mirror people's energy than to try hard to understand them, right? Be kind to yourself and others without any expectation because the good thing that you do today might come back to you in a different way at an unexpected time.
2. No need to deny any kind of emotions
If you still feel bad when you are angry, not in a good mood, or in any negative emotions. No, please!!! We have to know that all feelings are valid. Don't deny it! We just need to accept it. The more you deny your feelings or emotions, the more they stick in your mind. I experienced it lately when I realized that I have a crush on someone (hahaha, please don't laugh! If you know me, just keep it, because I won't tell you anything further, tho.) Yasss, I used to deny that feeling. It feels like a bunch of questions keep staying on my mind, like, "Am I really like him? Ah, no!" "Seriously, him after all? No way," and any other denial statement fills my heart and mind. And then what? Nothing! I just end up losing my appetite (hahaha. I swear my closest friend would laugh out loud about this since I'm a bit skeptical about men. Sorry, bro!) OMG, it's getting cringe, eeewhhh... But the point is, the time that I accept those feelings, I feel much better, like, "Ok, I like him, but I'm not in the right time to do the stupid thing, so let's just focus on self." That's it! Yappp, things are getting simple as long as we just accept and handle it calmly. It is applicable to any kind of emotion. Even if you want to heal the wound, the first thing that you need to do is accept that you have a wound that you need to heal.
3. Think deeper before deciding something
I don't understand why I recently saw myself as a mature person who needs to be wise about anything. I know that I might look super duper childish on my daily, but I actually think about anything seriously. I even overthink about simple things (and I don't like this one). But somehow, as I am getting older, I feel I have a necessity to consider many things. Again, it might be because I feel like everything will affect my future.
4. Build a better connection with God
This is the last point but actually the main thing. As an ordinary person, I feel like connection with God feels like magic. I don't know how to describe it clearly. Indeed it sounds classic, but when I dive deeper, my life feels lighter. It doesn't mean I didn't face any problems, but I can look at them wiser(?). Back to the 2nd point, I need an "acceptance" to solve problems with a clear mind, but connection with God makes it easier. Oh, but disclaimer, I didn't give a statement about connection with God making you avoid stress or depression since spirituality and psychology would be two different things, although it might have a little effect, but you still need professional help when it comes to psychological things.
I think I wrote too much tonight. It makes me unsure about keeping this forever, so I might delete it someday, hahaha. No no no... I'll just keep it on my blog and reread this maybe 5 years later or more just to check whether I still stand in the same place or better. 😊